Working Out Isn’t Working Out

“Everything isn’t gonna just jump out at you!” I can’t count the number of times my dad said this to me as a kid when he was helping me with my homework. You see, I’m a talented person. Not bc I can do lots of stuff but I have a gift for learning new skills. So when something doesn’t come easily to me I get frustrated or decide that it just isn’t for me and give up. However, as I continue to struggle on my fitness journey I hear my dad’s message loud and clear. Working out is hard (physically and mentally) for me, but I can’t stop. As I learned by persevering through those rough homework sessions, it’ll be worth it in the end.
I was walking to my apartment one day from Meijer and I was praying. I was reflecting on random isolated situations in my life. I told The Lord that I wanted Him to uncover every memory I had purposely forgotten bc I really want to be free. I realized that I couldn’t be freed from something that I denied its existence. Since then He has revealed a lot. One thing He showed me is how I’m not willing to not be great at everything I do. One of the fruits of the Spirit is long suffering. In my past, I was not bearing this fruit bc if any situation caused me stress or discomfort I just removed myself from it. However, over the last year The Lord has put me in some miserable situations that I didn’t have the means to escape even though I truly wanted to. 
The reason I was walking home was bc this was shortly after my car had been repossessed. Initially, I was hurt, angry, bitter and confused. At the time I could not see any good reason why that had to happen to me. But in retrospect, that incident has made me a true believer that ALL things are working together for my good. I was carless for 11 months. During those 11 months I learned how much of a brat I could be. I learned how often I was the source of my anger bc I would let anything happen and create a snowball effect and rehearse everything that I thought was wrong my life. I learned that I wasn’t as humble as I thought I was. But most importantly, I learned how to WAIT on The Lord. He had to strip me of something that seemed so essential to show me that He is the source of everything I have and He is all that I NEED.
I never would have thought that not having a car would teach me the skills necessary to endure everything that comes along with losing weight. Both are hard on me. Both stem from my parts of my upbringing. Both allow me to tell ppl that God is able to deliver you from any situation, whether you brought it in yourself or if it’s an issue of genetics.
To paraphrase my dad, every solution isn’t going to come to right away, but if you wait you’ll eventually see that the struggle had purpose and it has made you stronger.

3 thoughts on “Working Out Isn’t Working Out

  1. This is amazing, I’m actually going through the same season where I am learning to trust and wait.

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