CAE to CAF 1

This is long, but go with it.

During this almost married season, I’ve had to repent to God.

Changing my name has REALLY done a number on me.

I love that people cleverly comment “OhCAE” on my posts cuz they recognize it from my hashtag. It’s cool when people ask my cash tag and assume it’s $OhCAE.

It’s a reminder that I have been diligently building something for years and at least in my social media world, it has become something.

So the thought of changing my name has been paradigm shifting.

Who am I if I’m no longer CAE? And how will I develop this new woman I’m becoming?

When I shared with my close friends, a few have said I have the option of keeping it. And while I know that it’s true, it doesn’t work because the woman I’ve become since getting engaged deserves a name of her own.

For the first time in my life, I’m for real deciding to submit to someone else and let him lead me.

***So here’s why I repent.***

I’m allowing someone to change my identity. Give me a new name. Allowing myself to be identified by his name first. I’m be possessed by someone. (Mrs. is short for Mister’s as in belonging to him.)

While pondering this, I realized this is the same process I went through when I gave my life to Christ except I never fully gave in to it. I’ve been trying to belong to myself and to God. And changing my last name has put into perspective how lightly I have taken being called a Christian.

I know the rhetoric we use in Christian related things. “He wants it all.” “You’re a new creation in Christ.”

We talk about all the literal name changes of people in the Bible, but because I’ve been able to continue to be Claricha, what I’ve been saying all along really didn’t hit me until I started preparing to become Claricha Foster.

I have given more time and space to changing my last name for the sake of my man than I ever gave to the Lord for changing my heart.

This process has made scripture come alive for me. I’m a new creature. I’m learning to submit to someone like I have the Lord and because of this, I’m learning to submit to the Lord for real.