Hope Is Painful

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…But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 

That scripture convicts me to think bigger and increase my willingness to believe in what I haven’t seen. But can we just take a second and be real about how painful it can be to have hope?

Have you ever wanted a job really badly? You feel like it’s yours so you share it with a friend? Then you don’t get it. So then you find another one and the excitement comes back, but you don’t get that one either. So next time you keep it to yourself so that your hopes aren’t up and you can take your loss quietly.

Have you ever wanted to see someone be healed from a life destroying disease? You pray for them. You pray for healing. You continue to watch them suffer. You pray harder because you have hope. Then, it gets to the point where you see that it’s not getting better. Against all logic, you press beyond the cognitive dissonance and you continue to have hope. You see them hurting and realize that they need and want rest, but you continue to believe. The hope helps your mind rest, but makes your heart ache because your heart acknowledges the reality.

Have you ever decided to open your heart to someone new only to find that they’re gonna break it too? Part of you wants to try again, but the other part just wants to admit that having hope sets you up for disappointment.

After so much hurt and disappointment, life teaches us to be pessimistic or unmoved so that the bad doesn’t damage and the good comes as a total surprise. But I just want to say that no matter how much it hurts, have hope. Believe only the best things are coming for you and your people. Somebody has to see the glass half full. If you can recall the hurt that all the above situations caused, you can also recall life going on and eventually getting better after them.

Hurt happens. So does healing. Keep hoping for the best.

OhCAE?

One Day…

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Look at the chest

Make sure it’s still moving. 

Up and down it goes 

Sometimes the breathing is fast

Sometimes it slows 

You watch with hope,

But in the back of your mind is the nagging of the inevitable.

One day…

It’s gonna stop.

This life that once brought you joy 

Will soon cease to exist 

All that will be left is that dull pain in your chest 

That used to be filled with their presence, but you’re left behind to remember their essence

“It’s not so bad,” they say. 

The hole will be filled and

You’ll feel whole again… 

One day.

Empty Phrases

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Two phrases parents and caregivers make sure their kids know can be two of the emptiest statements we ever hear. “Thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

Neither of those matter if actions don’t show gratitude or remorse, respectively.

During Manners Week my kids learned one of the most valuable life lessons they’ll ever get. “Sometimes ‘sorry’ doesn’t work.”

We put it to them like this “If you’re playing in the block area and someone comes over and knocks your tower down. That might make you angry. So they tell you they’re sorry. That’s a nice word, but does that solve the problem? What else can they do to show you they’re sorry?” Most of them agree that getting down on the floor and helping to rebuild it will make them feel better.

When you do stuff to people whether it’s on purpose or accidental saying sorry doesn’t always help. It’s a start to show that you’re apologetic, but it’s not enough. Your following actions need to align with your words. Sometimes that means stopping what you were planning to do to help the person you hurt pick up the pieces of what you destroyed.

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean they will get over the fact that you knocked their tower down. They still might not want to play with you even if you help fix it. And that’s just something you kinda have to deal with because you were the one who caused the initial break down.

Stop Wasting Time

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money

Imagine for a second that you just got a new job and you set up your direct deposit. Then after your payments should’ve started you realize it’s not going into your account. So you check the paperwork and find out that you put in the wrong bank account number and someone else has been getting all of the money you worked for.

But it’s no big deal because you enjoy your job and you’re just living in the moment and you don’t really care about getting anything out of it but the experience, right?

YEA RIGHT!

Immediately, you’d fix that because you want what’s yours and would never knowingly deposit everything you worked for in someone else’s account.

That’s similar to what happens when you’re in a relationship with someone you know you are not going to marry. You’re pouring into that person. Spending time, money and resources and sharing yourself. There’s nothing “wrong” with loving someone who isn’t your future spouse, but realize that you’re making deposits that you will never get back because you knowingly made the mistake of staying and decided not to fix it.

Just like you’d be if you found out that other person was spending your money from your job, you’re gonna be super salty when you see someone else reap the benefits of a relationship you never should have been in.

If you wouldn’t waste your money, you shouldn’t waste your time. 

OhCAE?!