This Is Us, But Mainly Kevin

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Kevin Addiction Pic

This is Us, But Mainly Kevin…

Kevin is a straight rich white man who has straight rich white man problems.

OhCAE, the end.

You still here?

Ok, There’s more to his story, but I can’t get into it really without first acknowledging that Kevin Pearson is the EPITOME of white male privilege. To be honest, of the three, this is the hardest one to write because I don’t relate to Kevin AT ALL.

He’s white. I’m Black. He’s a man. I’m a woman. He’s rich. I’m pre-rich. You see? I’m struggling, because I’m watching a man who was raised by two loving parents who worked super hard to show him and his two same aged siblings equal attention. Somehow, though, he was jealous of his adopted Black brother and overweight low self-esteem sister.

His sister grew up in his shadow and literally didn’t make her own life outside of him until he told her to when they were 36 years old. His brother grew up just wanting to be accepted by him instead of disdained and teased by Kevin and his friends.

Now… after watching how Kevin was a bully and a brat as a child, seeing him run through women and a ruin a marriage with his childhood love in his 20s, we see him having a breakdown and battle addiction as an adult. This will sound bad, but I struggle to care.

elmo shrug

He made a scene and quit his job mid-episode. He was still able to land a new acting gig despite the very public unprofessional meltdown. On the holiday, he had to ability to choose the woman he’d spend it with. After crushing one, he crushed the chosen one when he chose his ex wife over her. THEN he messed everything up with her.

But listen, I get it. I understand children need attention and he felt left out as a child. But I need answers as to why he still acts like that looked over kid as an adult with a successful acting career. Literally, all I can think of is he’s white and white people feel entitled to the best of everything.

That’s all I have for real.

Our Mother Who Art In HeavenΒ 

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So the verdict is in, Octavia Spencer is my favorite actor. 

And yes, I used “actor” on purpose even though she’s a woman. (I’m a proud gramma nazi with an English degree. I know how to use words good. πŸ™ƒ)

Any who, I used a gendered term because it serves my purpose when examining her role, as Papa, in her most recent big screen feature The Shack based on the New York Times Best Seller by the same name. 


I first came in contact with the novel in 2011. I was going through [what my 22 year old self thought was] a very rough season of transition. 

I was unloading to my friend, who’s one of my spiritual mentors, (a lot of people’s salvation can be traced back to sacrifices she made as a Michigan State University undergraduate). My dear sister in Christ, Elon, listened to my concerns. She heard my desperation, confusion and hopelessness.  

At the time, I thought I needed a car and a boo to make my life better. Elon knew I needed a shift in my understanding of God and who He is. She suggested I read The Shack and I did. 

Ever since, I’ve had a recurring picture in my mind of a big Black woman facing the sink singing and dancing to rock music whenever I think of God’s love for me. So when I saw that familiar image on the movie screen, I was again reminded of how God meets us where we are. He meets us where we are to take us where we need to be. 

The Shack is a great depiction of that. The shortened storyline is this. A white man, Mack, has a traumatic childhood. He grows up, marries, has children and has a life altering experience as an adult that made him feel distant from God. One day he goes to the shack and has a supernatural encounter with God, the trinity. 

He meets God the Father, played by Octavia Spencer, who’s affectionately referred to as Papa. He meets Jesus, played by a man who looks to be of Middle Eastern descent. He also meets the Holy Spirit who’s personified as an Asian woman. 


So like the main character, Mack, and probably every other reader I was stunned that God the Father was not just a woman, but a Black woman. 

But then again… why is that shocking? Many of the Black women I know and have heard of collectively consistently embody the characteristics of God. 

This is a powerful image of humility and strength. The woman pictured was not the only descendent of captured Africans who breastfed their masters’ children. It’s a commonly known fact that after slavery Black women could only find jobs that forced them to serve their oppressors. Black women have shown the character of Christ by doing something that is extremely difficult for the proud, serve someone who may never understand who you really are. Jesus died for people who will never acknowledge Him as Lord.
More than likely, even the most ignorant person recognizes the person in this photo. Here’s Rosa Parks. A woman who, like Christ, KNOWINGLY went into a situation that cost her life as she knew it. She, like Christ, was arrested and abused.  Because of her sacrifice and her willingness to be crucified, the course of history was changed forever.  If you haven’t already, meet Ella Baker. Ella was a leader who built leaders who built leaders. Like Christ had disciples who made disciples who make disciples. She is known for leaving a legacy that ensured the generation after her would be equipped to do more work than she did. Like, the Lord did.  

My granny… widowed mother of 8 who raised each of them and their children to understand how love overshadows every hurtful word and every offense and that it is what enables us to press through the hardest times in life. She taught us that life happens and sometimes it hurts, but the happenings and hurts cannot break the bonds of love when it’s pure. Just like Christ’s love for us fueled His ability to be cursed, whipped, spat on and nailed to a cross. 

These Black women in this picture remind me that life should be enjoyed and shared with a core group of people who understand your plight. 
These Black women who have mentored and discipled me. Some of these women’s shoulders have been soaked with my tears. All of their phones have had texts with my questions. All of them have shown me the importance and impact of laying down your own life for the purpose of seeing other people be freed. Like Jesus. 
My fellow Black women, for your resilience, for your healing hands, for your supernatural ability to forgive, for your humility, for your ability to love without expecting, for your ability to give without the expectation of reciprocity, for lying down your life for others, thank you for being a shining tangible example of our Father who art in Heaven. 

I Know You Probably Believe That

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OhCAE, y’all. I’m just gonna sum this one up before I really get into it. Sometimes you just have to let people live in their reality. 

I know it’s annoying when people hold certain beliefs, but you have to know those thoughts come from somewhere. And sometimes you just have to be content with living contrary to their beliefs. 

Octavia Spencer’s character, Dorothy Vaughn, in Hidden Figures was undoubtedly my  favorite. Not only was the epitome of “Each one reach one” with her refusal to take a promotion if her whole squad couldn’t come because she took it upon herself to teach them what she taught herself. 


#SquadGoals

But she also didn’t have a problem letting people just live with their thoughts.

In the scene where Dorothy was in the bathroom with the white lady, who had been a stereotypical white lady throughout the whole movie, 

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Mrs. Mitchell said to her “You know, Dorothy, despite what you may think I have nothing against y’all.”

Dorothy stops mid stride turns around and with a gentle smile she responds, “I know. And I know you probably believe that.” 


(☝🏾☝🏾 actual picture of me and my friends when she said that. lol)

But seriously though, Dorothy’s response just sits with me. It’s exactly how I want to respond every time I hear a white person say “I’m not a racist but…” Like… Yes, you are but I’ll just let you live because white supremacy and anti-Blackness are so tightly woven into the fabric of our global society that people think their sentiments are normal. They believe that they’re one of the good ones because they’ve never physically harmed anyone. They have no idea how their unwillingness to see how they’ve participated in blocking opportunities for POC and all of their other microaggreessive acts are racist. 

I spend a lot of time trying to educate and spread knowledge to ignorant people, but I’m taking a page from Mrs. Vaughn’s book that is summed up by this profound lyric…

Let people live with their delusions. Provide the counternarrative with your life. 

OhCAE?!